Friday, April 18, 2008

THINGS THAT IRK ME


     Ever since I was a little boy, I've been known to be rather particular about some things.  Some aspects of human behavior--and particularly those things that seem especially rude and insensitive to me--really get under my skin, and irk me to no end.  I thought it was about time that I shared some of those things with you now.  These are everyday things, and they are not major felonies.  Still, I would urge you to think about them.  I know other people who are bothered by these things too, and so I implore you not to dismiss them as the unjustified idiosyncrasies of a random nut.  (Although I do admit to being kind of a random nut on occasion.)  Any road, here are three things that really cause my skin to crawl:

     1) Chip Chomping.  I absolutely love to eat at authentic Mexican restaurants.  To me, no grub is more satisfying.  And of course, part of the pleasure of eating at Mexican restaurants is receiving a bowl full of fresh warm tortilla chips and salsa to enjoy prior to the main course.  Everyone seems to enjoy the chips.  In this setting, nothing is more rude, annoying and distracting to me than having to endure the sound of someone nearby loudly chomping on the chips.  Please!  

     Why do some people feel that they should bite into the chip with a fully opened mouth, causing shock waves to reverberate around the restaurant?  How rude! Please, break the chip in half and close your mouth before you take a bite.  There is no legitimate reason that anyone at an adjacent table should ever be subjected to the sound of you devouring your chips.  


     2) Failure to use turn signals.  Our vehicles are equipped with turn signals for a reason.  When we activate them, we make other drivers aware of our intent to either change lanes or to complete a left or a right hand turn.  Turn signals help to avoid accidents, and they also help to let people know our intent so that they don't have to sit there like dummies waiting to see what we are going to do.  Turn signals are a wonderful invention, and thoughtful motorists use them without fail prior to making a lane change or a turn.  More and more, however, I encounter inconsiderate drivers who act as if using a turn signal is too much to ask of them.  They can't be bothered to flip their wrist to activate the turn signal.  How rude!  Please, think of others and use your turn signal every time you are planning to change lanes or make a turn when other cars are around.  


      3) Public nose blowing.  This one may seem funny, but it encompasses a life-long mystery to me.  For the life of me, I cannot understand how it ever became a socially acceptable practice to blow one's nose in public.  Really, could anything be more disgusting and gross?  I literally cringe whenever I witness such a coarse and vulgar act.  It is particularly revolting when people blow their noses in restaurants.  Grotesque!  I can't imagine doing that.  If I ruled the world, I would mandate that anyone needing to blow his or her nose be required either to go outside or to the nearest restroom to complete the task.   As Charles Barkley once observed in a commercial, "Anything less would be uncivilized."   

     And there you have an initial list of three things that really, truly annoy me.  I humbly suggest that if people would be considerate and refrain from doing these things, the world would be a much better place. 



9 Comments:

Blogger white rabbit said...

Matthew...

1. Chip chomping - more transatlantic linguistic confusion here. Chips to us are fries to you and chips to you are crisps to us. Problem solved maybe...

2. Not signalling - completely agreed. It is helpful to know what motorists are about to do. Fact.

3. Nose blowing - a litle harsh here. Perhaps I should declare an interest - my nearest and dearest will tell you that my nose blowing sounds like a controlled nuclear explosion. And your alternative is?

On second thoughts, let's not go there...

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Bekeen said...

Meat,

While I agree with your list, I would love to add one more:
Smacking gum.

As you remember, your aunt was a fanatic about this. While a child, I thought she was a little over the top on the subject, now as an adult I agree.

Like your chips, gum should be chewed with a closed mouth.

5:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Meem concurs....

Matthew, Of course I agree; however, have I
offended you lately with all the nose blowing I have been doing? Sometimes, one hasn't much
prep time.

Bekeen....totally agreed
BUT gum chewing should be
done privately....not in
public.

12:02 PM  
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